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It's a witty encapsulation of the central difficulty that El Feki has faced in chronicling aspects of sex in the Arab world.

Yet her persistence pays off, yielding an extraordinary collection of opinions on everything from online flirting to female genital mutilation.

If you really want to know a people, start by looking inside their bedrooms.

In today’s Arab world, the only socially-accepted context for sex is heterosexual, family-sanctioned, religiously-approved, state-registered marriage—a social citadel.

In well-to-do districts, hotels, restaurants, and jewellers gear up for a highlight of their year.

In churches, for example, teenagers and young adults are firmly discouraged from forming one-to-one relationships until they are ready to consider engagement to someone they might scarcely know.

Many of the same "underlying forces" are there, not least the struggle toward democracy, and a large youth population with different attitudes from their parents.

Yet El Feki doesn't believe that wide-reaching change is coming soon, nor that the West has got it entirely right.

Sexuality might seem a strange focus in these tumultuous political times in the Arab world.

It is, in fact, a powerful lens with which to study a society because it offers a view not just into intimate life, but also of the bigger picture: politics and economics, religion and tradition, gender and generations that shape sexual attitudes and behaviours.

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